It might be due to illness but it still counts, dammit

That was kind of funny. No sooner had I confessed to being a big giant lurker, but someone left a message for me! Wow, is that karma? Anyways Anonymous, nice to know you and yes, the wedding planning is going well, thanks.

Well after I posted last night I got a real hankering for beer. Something really cold and malty and carbonated so I had 3 glasses of leffe beer and let me tell you, I felt grrrreat! Clearly I was a little drunk but it took the edge right off and I was feeling really good. So I then had (in the interests of full disclosure) chorizo pasta with spicy tomato sauce, 2 small glasses of red wine and a weightwatchers chocolate mousse. So yesterday was not brilliant on the old diet but I figured one day wasn’t going to kill me and it made me feel better and if I have to wear the consequences on the scale next week then I can deal with that.

Cos I sure didn’t to deal with the consequences this morning, let me tell you. I weighed in at 67.9kg or 10 stone 9 and three quarters or 149.8 lb. Hell YEAH. So I’m putting that down to the 5 gym sessions I had last week and the fact that I didn’t really blow out yesterday so I wasn’t feeling super bloated (but that thing I have been waiting to arrive has arrived so I am feeling a little bit bloaty). Which means I’m feeling a little bit concerned about next week given that eating this week is not going to be brilliant what with my wine tasting and pizza eating tomorrow and my lack of gymming this week. Curses.

But I have to tell you, my clothes are feeling quite loose at the moment (note I did not say that I am feeling any thinner – it’s the clothes getting bigger not me getting smaller) and I had a mini wow moment in the bathroom at work today when I looked in the mirror and realised I kind of look like a tramp with really baggy pants (am wearing my petite size 16 Wallis pants that emphasise my gunt). So I’m feeling good about that because regardless of whether I lose another half a kg next week or not, I know those pants aren’t suddenly going to fit me again overnight. Then again I shouldn’t congratulate myself too much – they were a horrifying size 16 don’t forget -they fricking well SHOULD be way too big for me.

But I’m feeling like my 66kg mini goal is really within reach. And that STAGGERS me because I have NEVER EVER managed to make it to a scale goal within my goal time. For example, the last time I dieted was in 2006 and I had a goal to get to 65kg for a trip to Santorini at the end of August. I got to 67kg (and frankly I was lucky to get there). Then I had a goal to get to 60kg for Christmas. I changed that to 62kg then 63kg and rang in the new year at 65kg. I got to 64kg for my birthday last January and I felt so fantastic (in fact G thinks photos of me taken at my birthday are the best ones I have) and managed to get down to (I believe this to be true but I stopped weighing myself last February) 61kg or 62kg for my friend’s wedding where I was a bridesmaid which was in early March 2007. My goal had actually been to be 55kg (I wanted to finally reach THAT weight which I didn’t quite achieve in 2004 which was the diet before my last one where I ended up at 58.5kg) and I was 6 or 7kg over that.

So, I never quite make my goals and this time I am really psyched that I actually might achieve what I wanted to achieve. It would be a loss of nearly 7kg over 12 weeks which is not exactly unrealistic and somehow being 66kg just seems so LIGHT. My ultimate goal of 55kg seems so in REACH (God I must remember to read this when I hit 62kg and the scale won’t frigging BUDGE – I’ll be bewildered at my own naiveté). But its going to get harder to achieve scale goals after Boston because I will be doing more weight training so in my mind my goal is to be 60kg for NZ (a loss of 6kg (I hope) over 12 weeks) but what I really want is to be wearing my size 12 (or are they 11s?) James Jeans that I wore to NZ last February but felt a bit snug if I’m honest with myself, without the muffin top. And if I’m REALLY honest with myself, I’d like those jeans to be a little loose…